Heyo, this blog didn't last very long, I'm moving over to http://finnishedwithitall.wordpress.com/

Somewhere along the way I got lost
And when I found my way back again
I took the map and never looked back
Now every time I make a wrong turn
I turn the map and keep going
Maybe some day I'll find
Where I'm supposed to be
And once I'm there
Maybe I'll be
Happy.

I can accept who I am.
Short tempered.
Impulsive.
Impatient.
I can deal with that.
The only question is if I can deal with what being myself does to people.

Because I'm tired.
Fed up.
Over it.
Done.
I'm not repeating this.
The only dilemma for me is who my problem is.

Trauma comes, hits, stays, goes, hits, goes....
You think it is completely over.
It happens again.
Worse.
Not just the feeling.
The entire thing that started this.
I feel bad, but what can I do to help this?

Sometimes, people really catch me off guard.

"You know Annie?"
"Yeah, why?"
"We were just talking about how confident you are... and how we wish every girl were as confident as you."

This was quite literally the most surprised I've been in months.

When I learned to live.

I learned to live the day I was born.
I learned to live the days when arguing never ceased.
I learned to live the day my best friend became my worst enemy.
I learned to live the days when I had no friends.
I learned to live the day someone accepted me.
I learned to live all the days that people don't.
I learned to live the day I was ditched for a hobby.
I learned to live the day that leukemia got a bit more... existent.
I learned to live when people go out of their way to use me.

But most of all... I learned to live the day I fell in love.
Because all the pain, all the stress, all the sadness... is worth it. For love.